Cookies Worst Start Yet

Well it's been awhile since I have written anything. So here's a little recap.

After my father had a triple bypass and I learned of all the heart disease in my family, I realized I need to stop joking around and being lazy. In January of this year I got back in the gym. I was there five days and then had a business trip to New Orleans. I came back late Sunday and headed to work Monday and slept off my exhaustion. Tuesday I woke up and ended up being the worst day of my year. We lost Brandon that day and my hearts breaks that he is not with us anymore. 

Since then, I have given up my apartment and moved in with my sister and Mackenzie. I love this time with them and being able to see that little girl smile and reach for me when I come home is more rewarding than I could have ever thought. 

So I need to get healthy and was trying to figure out a new schedule. Well I got the call, literally, to get my ass back in the gym. I met with Brian went through a refresher and signed back up for crossfit classes. I was excited and scared but ready to do this. 

My first work out sucked and I couldn't breathe or move following it. But it felt good to finally be back at it. I have been going for over a week.

 Sunday night we got a call and my cousin passed. Damn this year sucks. I would give anything to have those two back in my life. I haven't gotten over Brandon let alone process Matthew. Two young men taken too soon. If it wasn't for my faith and my family I would be a wreck. I decided after not going to the gym Monday and Tuesday I was going tonight. Tonight I stretched before the workout. I was concerned and scared to do the calorie rowing tonight. I started the WOD and got the fear out of my head. I just said to myself this will suck, you will get through and think how proud of yourself you will be to finish! 

WRONG!

My trusty old back was done. I did the warm up and the 3 rounds of lunges and push ups. We then moved into front squats and I was feeling great and positive. Next step- calorie rowing and alternating ball slams. At the end of the first 50 calorie row my back went out. I kept going after a was able to breathe, until I reached 50 calories. I tried to stand for the ball slams and couldn't. Dead in the water with screaming pain in my back and down my legs. I stretched for 15 minutes and headed home. Defeated. I couldn't finish the workout and could barely walk. 

I got home and took a long show in hopes of loosening my back. It only slightly worked. I'm off to bed in hopes of no pain tomorrow when I wake. Fat chance.

I am pissed at myself. If I kept the weight off instead of giving up I could have push myself harder. 

But I'm not stopping, just rowing. I'm going to get my back stronger. I need to focus on strengthening my back and working on my form. I'm going to start my couch to 5k program again to make sure I'm getting cardio. 

This year is off to a rough start but between all the heart aches and health scares, I need to get healthy for myself.

So here we go again 

Cookies back on marbles

Hey everyone!!!

Im pretty sure no one follows this but for me this is accountability. Keeping myself honest and keeping myself going.  It will take awhile and I will hate myself some days and be on cloud nine others. The goal is to stay focused, to keep my ass in the gym, and eating right.

Staying focused..... EASIER SAID THEN DONE!
I need to get into my routine and stick to it.  I was bailing out when I wasn't leaving the office till later.  No matter what time I leave the office I will head to the gym.  My plan is to work out Sunday through Thursday, and possibly Saturday's. Since the weather is warming up, I want to start running outside, or Intervals. My right ankle has been killing me on the treadmill.  Goal is to get outside and walk/run daily. Even if I run laps around the gym outside or running down Pelham before the rest of my workout. Running makes me feel good- I enjoy it and it will push me to finally quit smoking. I want to run marathons and 5ks, 10ks, and more Mud Runs! I had some much fun but want to be able to pull myself over a wall or haul my body over planks of wood.

ASS IN THE GYM!
I will be in the gym. I have to. Weight is not going to fall off of me.  The best and worst part about it is when I feel like throwing up, passing out, or running away, the after effect is what I love. I love feeling exhausted, drained, soaking wet, and feeling good about myself.

EATING RIGHT!
NO PROCESSED FOOD!  I have thrown out everything in my fridge, and restocked.  I now have all lean meat, no red meat, fish, veggies, veggies, veggies, almond milk, protein, and some fruits. Oh yeah YOGURT- The death of me.  I have found a way to consume it with protein and almond milk. I am eating breakfast everyday, 1 cup of coffee. 2 protein shakes a day with a mid-morning snack, small lunch, afternoon snack, followed up with dinner. Since I get home from the gym so late and don't want all that food in my system before bed- I am having a few almonds or just water and protein.

My meals today were:
Coffee, 2 cuties, 1 protein shake with almond milk, romaine lettuce salad just basic, an apple, protein and yogurt with a little bit of almond milk, followed up with Turkey filets and 1 cup of steamed veggies.

My workout tonight:
15 minutes running intervals. However, my ankle was killing me and I stopped. It was supposed to be 20 minutes. That's why I am returning to running outside. It was then followed up by:

100 jumping jacks
100 kettle bell swings
100 thrusters
100 squats
3-20 second wallsits

I was so excited to work out with Chris and Andrea from work tonight.  I know we are all at different levels but feeding off each other, pushing harder, and getting through it was the best feeling.

If anyone knows anything about food- PLEASE TELL ME IF IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG!

Now the bad news. I weighed in. 232. :(((((  My original starting weight a year ago was 238. So I gained all but 6 pounds back.  Its so depressing. My first thought was forget it Im done. But then I thought, you have lost weight in the past. You just need to stick to it.  So I have recalculated the marbles to have a 72 pounds weight loss goal to put me at 160. Im hoping to do this in a years time. I will be weighing in bi-weekly so I dont get too down on myself or so excited that I slip.  

So hopefully lots of marbles will be moved!

Until next time :)

Cookies are back!

Hey guys,

Lets just say its been awhile. My slack ass fell off the bandwagon. I stopped going to the gym I stopped eating right started smoking and just have up on all the hardwork I did. Now I feel like crap, slightly depressed, and just sick o it. Now I have a niece on the way and now more than ever I need to grow up and take care of myself. Anytime I am unhappy with my life I eat. I eat, and I eat some more. Food has always been a way out for me and who knows what my weight has gone to now. Well I will find out soon enough as tomorrow I am weighing in!

I am going to do this. No one but myself can make this happen. I just need to stick to it and stay motivated. Here is my game plan:

Diet: vegetables, proteins, protein shakes, breakfast lunch and dinner home poked everyday. Clean eating for clean living. This will give me variety with food but healthy options for every meal.

Workouts: 30 minutes of cardio a day, I will run. I want to run. If I run I will quit smoking. I want to do 5ks and 10ks and mud runs. I can I just have to get into shape.

I will continue to do strength and endurance training. Squats, planks, pull ups, push ups, everything. If I am goin to be climbing over walls in a mud run I need to be able to lift myself.

I feel so stupid for stopping and giving up the last couple months. My goal is the gym 6 days a week and home cooked meals everyday. One splurge meal a week. I'm not perfect and pretty sure not the only one to fail on weight loss. Except I haven't failed because I'm not giving u!

So read along if you would like to see how this goes!

Cookies are back!

Cookies are back!

So much to catch up on- still overweight! Surprise! Well I am currently at 229, with losing a pound in the last week. So let's catch up.

October I was still going strong and went to Vegas for work.  Started smoking again that time in Vegas. When I got back I threw out my back again and went dark for about 2 months. I completely fell off my wellness wagon.  I started smoking, the diet went out of the window in seconds, and I stopped going to the gym since my back was killing me. So I gave up. I essentially didn't care. With that, I started feeling down on myself again, depression like state came over me. I was working longer hours because I didn't want to be home alone. Sad face - but I did it to myself!

So I entered the gym with pushing from my family. I hated it. I was ready for Brian to yell at me and tell me I quit and slacked. Well yeah, office gym door closed but no yelling. Just telling me to quit slacking and come back hard. So we started with a light workout and I was pissed. All the self doubt, aggression, and wanting to quit sunk in.  When I think like that I fail myself everytime.  I still do.  I have been trying to say only 10 more seconds or you can do this you can do this to keep me going.

I started training again, and Tina has joined me! I love having someone to work out with. We push each other and my competitiveness kicks in.

So dieting.  I was doing the diet from the trainer and I burnt myself out and started hating everything about eating.  So my mom and I decided to do weight watchers together. To push each other and hold each other accountable. We have a weigh in every Sunday on family fun day! This week I am down a pound.  I know I am not going to put up weekly weight loss numbers like the biggest loser. If I didnt have to work and live my live, I could work out all the time but that is not realistic.  All health materials say 1-2 pound weight loss each week is sustainable and the best way to lose weight and keep it off.

So here we go again! Follow me on this journey! Updates to come! This year I vowed to be the year of change for the better. More surprises to come!

Cookies Update the Photos

Cookies Get Muddy!

So here we go!  Frid night I get a call asking me to join a mud run team for Saturday morning.  I have been thinking about it and then with help from my trainer Brian and others around me I decided to do it.  I was nervous.  I had never done one before or even know what was involved. So therefore, I didnt want to be the big fat fatty that couldn't do it.  I got over that.  I figured I have dropped weight, inches, training regularly, and just an overhaul improved health and well-being.  I figured they knew what I look like they know I am working to lose weight and better myself.

It was AMAZING.  I had so much fun.  Of course there were obstacles I couldn't physcially get myself over and others that terrifed me to death with heights.  I supported my team and helped them and we all worked together.  It was a blast.  I want to do it again in the Spring and hopefully get through more than I did this time! It was so great as you were finishing the last couple obstacles in the main area, people are cheering you on to finish!

 

 

 

So here we are all nice and clean before the race.  Our team was the birds, since we are not from South Carolina, we flew in! lol... 

 

There are tons of photos on my Facebook from the whole event.  I am bruised from my arms to my toes. I think I broke my big toe.  I didn't care though.  It was the best experience and I cant wait to do it again :) 

 

Today was back at it.  I didn't workout last night and felt guilty.  I iced my foot instead.  Today I did thrusters. Lots and lots of thrusters!  Im back in my routine and the Mud Run only energized me to do more and push through!

 

Things are going great for me in every aspect.  Tomrrow October 3rd, will be two months no smoking.  The last time I smoked a cigarette was two months ago today.  I cant believe how much I have improved my health and really put myself first.

 

 

Minus the goofy ass smile on my face, but my reward continues to be my success.  For the first time in my life I am wearing a medium size t-shirt. It's not really about the pounds, its about the fitness, and I am really starting to see that.  The goal is wellness and fitness not a number.

 

Pintrest Crossfit Quote of the Blog:

 



Cookies Go Big!

So tonight felt great! I don't normally train on Tuesdays but it was a nice change :)  Tonight the rain cleared by the time it was gym time. So we worked out outside! Below 80 degrees.... Ill take it!

I wasn't neverous and kept telling myself you can do this.  You have done this for the last 9 weeks keep going you got this.  Plus now Im addicted to Crossfit on Pintrest.  That extra motivation always helps :)

Well Brian had a simple one planned for tonight.  Not easy but simple.  Rowing and wall balls.  Thats it.  Five rounds. Ended up rowing around 1500 meters and did like 150 wall balls.  Yeah my thighs will hate me... oh well! Smaller thighs for me :)  Half-way through all I wanted was quit.  Then I thought to myself don't give up. Why are you putting up excuses... just bear down pull that damn bar and get that round of rowing done!!  Brian of course was there to support and encourage me!

In my slump Brian understood, didn't judge or get mad just pushed me through.  Tonight was a great workout.  I need to stay on track.  I really enjoy these workouts.  Whether its the idea of actually finishing them, knowing how much further I pushed myself... Im becoming a Crossfit junkie! lol.....

So Pintrest has been my extra motivation the last couple days to go back big with my training.  Here are some of my favorites! You can always follow me on Pintrest!