Cookies Exhausted

Well I weighed in.  I gained two pounds.  I am beating myself up about it.  The excuses are as follows:
  - I quit smoking
  - I cheated on my diet
  - I slacked in my gym routines
  - Stress with work

Oh well.  I cant be perfect. I accepted my gain and realized its not worth it.  Its not worth it to cheat to lose progress going forward. That's stupid. Lol.  I don't want to have to resort to burpies! I hate them!

Monday I started back, harder than ever. I did a 5 am workout on Monday, and evening workout on Tuesday, another evening workout tonight and Im debating the next two days.  With all the other crap in my life, Im exhausted! I haven't slept in days and panic attacks are kicking in.

Im not going to let that stop me.  I had a panic attack tonight on the threadmill, well this new treadmill the gym bought.  But I just stopped got my breathing under control, paused and then started back.  I know this has been a whirlwind but I need to be able to handle anything thrown at me. Im working on these panic attacks.

I have stuck to my diet since it was given Monday night.  I have drank more protein than ever! In fact that is all I had today excpet 4 eggs this morning!  Oh another thing I learned.  Yoplait light, almond milk and protein- so good!  I can finally eat yogurt.  I have always hated the smell, the taste, and it just made me sick to think about it.  Well if you want to lose weight you have to eat for fit not for fun. I think I am finally moving past the whole notion of enjoying the flavor and a variety of foods.  For now, its just ok for the goal I am working towards and thats ok.  When I do hit my goal and return to a normal diet, those will be luxuries in moderation where I don't blow up to a blimp again.

Well, Im off to take some melatonin and hopefully sleep tonight.  On a sad note I will not be going to ABR Weekend this year :( Go Team Redmond! Its probably a good thing- a weekend full of drinking and eating is probably not what I need.  Oh those ribs... lol.... it is the rib cook off..  Oh well love my friends and family and will miss yall this year, but will definitely be there next year for year 13!

Cookies cooling off